Codependent parents find it difficult to cope with their own emotions when their child is going through something difficult. Whilst, to a certain extent, this is normal, it can be a barrier to children growing up and learning to live independent lives.
Codependency with your child isn’t bad, but it can be unhelpful for you and your child. An older teenager needs to separate and learn to live an independent life. The more you try to control your child’s outcomes (to help them and you feel better), the more likely it is you will annoy them and convince them not to share aspects of their lives with you. Ironically, the long-term relationship you want with your child is less likely to happen the more you try to influence their outcomes.
Being codependent with your child can also leave you feeling anxious and sad about your child’s problems – even when they’re adults – which is detrimental to your own wellbeing.